Vows.

I am loyal reader of New York Times' Vows column and found a recent column to be particularly moving. So, sit back, relax and enjoy! 

March 11, 2010

Elizabeth Greig and Jason Extein

By LINDA MARX

ELIZABETH GREIG and Jason Extein’s first date, in December 2006, occurred the night before she left for what until then had been her chief passion: improving medical care in Haiti.

So Mr. Extein, 28, was not at all surprised in January when Ms. Greig, 31, a fourth-year medical student at the University of Miami, abandoned preparations for their wedding and went to Port-au-Prince after the earthquake on Jan 12.

He had sensed her dedication from the beginning, and over the course of their relationship had entered medical school himself (he is now in his third year at Weill Cornell Medical College in New York).

“There were other people to work on the wedding, and Liz had so much to offer,” he said. “I told her if there ever was a time to go to Haiti, it is now. I expected nothing less from her.”

Ms. Greig, who grew up in Philadelphia and London and graduated from the University of Pennsylvania, became interested in global health after working as a consultant to hospitals and colleges.

She took pre-med classes at the University of Miami before enrolling in the medical school, and as a medical student joined Project Medishare, a joint venture of the university and Haiti’s Ministry of Health. She made several trips to Haiti, and at the time of the earthquake had completed a 70-page disaster plan and was about to test it.

Mr. Extein grew up in Boca Raton, Fla. After graduating from Princeton he became a teaching fellow in New York and received a master’s in mathematics from St. John’s. But his father is a psychiatrist, and he began thinking about a medical career.

Mr. Extein had moved back to Florida when a childhood friend, Jonathan Neimand, invited him to a party at Ms. Greig’s Miami apartment in 2006. He was applying to medical schools and looking for a research job in the meantime.

“Liz was tall, beautiful, and I could tell right away she was an unusual person who had her act together,” Mr. Extein said. “And she made me laugh.”

After the party, he e-mailed her for job contacts but soon found a position on his own — at the University of Miami.

After gradually learning, as he put it, that they “had a lot of ridiculous things to say to entertain each other,” they had their first date, at a South Beach bookstore. At dinner later that evening, they discovered they shared more than a sense of humor. He had played soccer at Princeton; she was on the water polo team at Penn. And they both wanted to devote their lives to helping others.

When Mr. Extein’s Miami lease was up in June 2007, they agreed to live together until he started medical school. She said that when he left, she felt as if she had lost her sidekick, someone she could joke with after long, hard days of study.

They managed to see each other every couple of weeks, in New York or Florida. He proposed last April.

"From the beginning, there was no question in my mind that Liz was the right woman for me,” he said. “I never considered dating others after we met.”

She calls him “my family.”

“Every major step in my life, from becoming a doctor, to soon doing my residency in New York, to continue working in Haiti, is made around him,” she said.

She was in New York for residency interviews on Jan. 12. She hurried back to Miami and the following week was on a charter flight to Port-au-Prince with Dr. Barth A. Green, the chairman of the University of Miami’s department of neurological surgery and a founder of Project Medishare. “It was pretty surreal,” she said.

She added that while she felt a bit guilty about leaving the wedding plans to her mother, Margaret Greig, “I had an investment in Haiti before the earthquake, and my mom was an enthusiastic planner, so I was actually glad to divorce myself from the wedding process.”

She became Medishare’s chief administrative officer at its field hospital in Port-au-Prince, where she said there were enormous tents that looked like “big circus or wedding tents with cots and patients everywhere, 100 deep, awaiting services.”

Despite his wholehearted support, Mr. Extein admitted that he was worried about her.

“The day Liz headed down to Haiti, the 6.1 aftershock happened,” he said. “A few hours later, the news showed a few clips of guys walking down the street with machetes.”

He could not reach her for several days, and their conversations were very brief for some time after that.

“You could go 24 hours without stopping to eat or sit down, so I had time for only cold two-minute showers,” she said. She lost 15 pounds before her return and had to be refitted for her gown.

(The dress seemed to have an easier time. It had its own seat, next to a family friend, on a flight from Chicago to Miami.)

The couple was married Feb. 20 near the old Vanderbilt Mansion on Fisher Island off Miami Beach. Chris Sarquis, a Miami notary, conducted a short ceremony. In the mansion’s ballroom, Mr. Neimand, the only member of the wedding party (he called himself “best man of honor”), made the toast:

“Even though Liz and Jason are incredibly accomplished and giving, I think they will agree that their greatest success was finding each other. I am excited to see what they will do together.”

And after a brief wedding trip to St. Bart’s, they went to Haiti.

Rosalie R. Radomsky contributed reporting from New York.

Source: New York Times

Words of Wisdom.

 

 This is something I need to do more often. 

Source: Weddingbee

Love Always.

To Pair... or Not to Pair

Like most couples, there are a few fundamental things Big and I disagree on. I'm going to let you in on one of them.

 

(Source)

Big believes socks should be paired. I do not. Houston, we have a problem. 

First of all, I only wear white ankle-length athletic socks. No exceptions. So to me, what's the point? Why should it matter if one ankle sock is Target brand and the other is Hanes? Therefore, I save myself the time and anxiety of pairing socks. It's incredibly frustrating to take the time to pair socks to only have one missing. Where does it go? Was it lost before it went in the wash? It did the laundry gremlins eat it? To me, the angst isn't worth it. I'd rather fish through a drawer to find a "match" or just wear two slightly different but very similar socks.

Big and I occasionally help each other fold our respective laundry. Until this point, I've sat with my fingers crossed and told him I wouldn't pair his socks until we're married. As a dutiful "wife in training" -- as I like to call myself -- I've softened a teensy bit. For example: just yesterday, I helped him with the dreaded task while I recovered from an 18-mile run on his couch. But he'll never get me to cross to the dark side. 

What are the silly things you and your significant other disagree on?  

My Sisters, My World

"If I paid for my friends, I sure didn't pay enough." - Anonymous

 

(personal photo)

I was lucky enough to spend the weekend with ten sorority sisters from college. I'm fortunate enough to have two living just down the road, but the rest are scattered across the country. One friend flew in from Maryland; another took a plane from Ohio. The rest drove or trained in from Michigan. It was one of the first times we've all been together without husbands, fiances and boyfriends in years.

Gone are the days when we lived in our house together or saw each other multiple times per week. I miss waking up to a sister eating breakfast in the kitchen, gathering in another sister's bed for a marathon TV session and the getting-ready-for-a-night-out craziness that occurred at least twice a weekend. (Note: Weekend = Thursday to Sunday.) This weekend, we ate, we shopped, we drank, we gossiped and traded notes on other college friends, we ate and drank some more and just spent time being silly together. It was divine and fabulous, and I'm going to be upset next weekend when six of my sisters aren't sitting on my bed while another curls her hair or rummages through my closet and the rest blare music from the living room. The weekend came at a time when I desperately needed quality girl time and a fun night out, and I'm incredibly thankful for it.

So much of our lives we spend waiting. I "couldn't wait" for this weekend. I vividly remember not being able to "wait" to move out of the sorority house, being anxious to graduate. Now, I would give my left arm to for our Thursday night routine: IM-ing with other sorority sisters about where we'd "predrink," finding the perfect outfit from someone's closet, heading over to a sister's apartment for pre-bar fun, calling 779-TAXI for a ride to the "The Pub" just before 11 p.m. -- and, once there, immediately purchasing three Long Island Ice Teas before the special ended -- closing the night out at "The Stone" and then making the very difficult decision to eat Jimmy John's or Papa John's. (Ok, that's a little drastic, but you get my point.)

I guess what I'm trying to say is... carpe diem! I personally need to stop saying, "I can't wait to get married" or "I can't wait until this work project is done" or "I can't wait until next weekend" and enjoy the very moment I'm living. As I head into another crazy busy, freezing cold week of work, marathon training, volunteering, wedding planning and so on, that's my goal.

Who's with me?  

No Mo' Pizza

 

(source)

Big and I have been eating a lot of pizza lately. I won't quantify the quantity or cost. It's way too embarrassing. 

So it was decided. No pizza for Lent, which begins on Ash Wednesday, today. Domino's (we use and love the pizza tracker), Sarpino's and Fogo 2 Go are really going to miss us.

Why do Catholics do this? In Lent, it's traditional to give up something(s) that we do a lot of and that we find pleasure in. This giving up or fasting is done for thrice reasons:

1. A discipline for learning self-control, to free our minds from the chase after material things
2. To identify with Christ's sufferings
3. Serve as an act of sorrow for our wrongdoings

Sometimes we don't notice how certain things we do have gained power over us and dictate our actions; through Lent fasts, we discover these things and give them up so that God can be in charge. (Source: Spirit Home). I usually fair miserably at my Lenten offering, but I'm hopeful this year. My faith is stronger than it has been for awhile, and I feel a renewed commitment to make this sacrifice for the Lord. Furthermore, I'm not alone on my quest. 

What are you giving up for Lent?

Our Love

 

(source)

"How did you meet?" A common question. You know the answer.
 
"When did you know he was the one?" Hmmmmm. Good one!


I could tell Big was a good one out of the gates. In fact, I remember the first date report including the words "actually really impressed."

Still, I struggle to think of the exact moment I knew Big was "the one." I do, however, remember the first time we discussed marriage. I was 20 years old and Big was 22 years old. We had been dating for two years (in college years, eternity). It was the day final exams of spring semester ended, and Big and I were both moving home for the summer that afternoon.

While hanging out in his room, Big blurts, "Do you think we're going to get married?"


Me: I don't know, what do you think?

Big: Yeah, probably.

Me: Yea, me too.

End of discussion. No big deal, just like everything with Big (one of my favorite things about him). Henceforth, the "plan" was to stay together.


Conversations on this subject continued, but increased in severity and frequency this year.

Our relationship was in a really good place. We'd always discussed waiting to get engaged/married until we were established in our careers. This occurred: I was really hitting my stride at work, and Big's career path was solid. Moreover, he'd just been accepted into grad school.

We both grew up.

We became more responsible with our finances, and less frequently changed into our party shoes. We found and maintained a balance that makes us both happier, healthier human beings. We learned how to make time for friends, family and personal hobbies/passions, as well as "QT" with one another. We support one another and share the same goals, values and priorities. Yes, we bicker, but we apologize and make up. We love, trust and respect each other. We are best friends.

I am proud of our relationship. Through the course of five-plus years, we've transitioned from a summer fling to a functional, non-dramatic college relationship, to a grown-up, meaningful partnership that has the backing of friends, family and, as far as I know, the Big Guy upstairs.

So no, for us, there wasn't one "A-ha!" moment; rather, a steady, balanced, happy relationship that grew -- and continues to grow -- over time.

What about you? Did you have an "aha"-love moment? Or was your experience more similar to mine?

Mush

 

(source)

For a good handful of days, I haven't quite been my happy-go-lucky self. I've been slightly grumpy. Tired. Annoyed. Irritable.

I'm sure most of this is due to the stress of planning a wedding and the life changes that come with it. But other factor are surely to blame. Could it be my demanding career and extra-curricular schedule that involves double-digit mile runs every weekend? What's more, it could be a few silent frustrations, general annoyances about people in my life, places and things, that I let crawl too far under my skin. As always, I could chalk my melancholy up to the weather, though I feel as patient as ever for spring. Either way, I've got that overall "off" feeling that's unfamiliar and unwelcome.

So what have I been doing about it? For one, spending a lot more time in the gym, burning agression during intense spinning classes or marathon sessions on the stair climber. Slowly working my way through a bottle of malbec. Thinking. Praying. Holding tight to my best friendships. For I know this too shall pass and, alas, it is. I'm starting to feel more like myself and sleeping better at night. Taking it easier on Big. Venting less, "letting it go" more. Seeing the silver lining. 

I have much in life to be thankful for -- beyond the basic food, shelter and warmth I take far too for granted -- I have loving friends and family. And I have faith.

Today, as always, that is enough.

(source)

Hi :)

I find/do/learn about/read about/watch stuff fascinating stuff all the time. This blog used to be one way I spread the word about those great things. However, quite honestly, I lost interest in blogging mostly about running, it was nice outside, I was busy at work... etc. etc. etc.

I was itching to write again, and after watching the transformation a fellow blogger/old roommate made to her site, I felt inspired to pound the keyboard and give this blogging stuff another go. So thanks, lady for being so awesome! I'm back, with a fresh new look and feel that I love.

I'm sure most of you are pretty familiar with who I am and my life. But for those who aren't, here's a quick update on what has been happening since I last updated. First and foremost, I did indeed qualify for the Boston Marathon and, with an overall time of 3:37:04, left room to spare! YAY!

Because he is so great, B. took me out for an AH-mazing dinner at Tango Sur, an Argentinean steakhouse in our 'hood, to celebrate. We indulged with tons of red wine and an enormous fillet juicier and more tender than I thought possible. And mashed potatoes, which was kind of random considering I'm more of a roasted potatoes kind of gal. We were both very sad when got in our cab and realized that the leftovers (this steak was a monster!) had been left behind. UGH.

Anyways, we picked up some Amstel Lights and went to my apartment when suddenly, B. reached into his coat pocket and launched into this schpiel about how great the day was and much he loves me and wants to always make me happy ya-da-ya-da-ya-da and down a knee and PROPOSED! Talk about a seriously awesome day. It was the perfect proposal and so us. Here is a pic of my ring, in case you haven't seen it:

Aren't I just the luckiest???? I LOVE IT. It is more sparkly in person, I swear. I will let you try it on if you ask nicely. Ring aside, I truly feel blessed to have found such an amazing person to walk with on the path of life. It's just the coolest feeling. If you haven't already, check out our wedding Web site, where you can learn more about us, our big day and even help create our reception playlist!

Because of this engagement, I have decided that henceforth, I will refer to "B." (which, by the way, was short for boyfriend) as "Big." Just like Carrie Bradshaw. I think this will be quite funny.

Moving forward, what you can expect to read on this blog is simple: everything I love. However, expect heavy doses of wedding updates as I hem and haw over every last detail. Plus, this will reallllllly draw out the process and enable all of you to enjoy small bits of the wedding fun, though of course, we'll keep some things a surprise. 

So go ahead, add this subscription to your Google Reader (if you don't have a gmail account, it's time!) or click on the click on the "follow" icon to the right, and share your feedback with me! It's only fun to blog if people are stalking... err, reading.

Catholic Guilt

Ever heard of it? Thought so. I have a tough case right now and need to fess up real quick.

I've neglected this blog quite a bit lately (understatement).

Keeping up a blog is much harder work than I ever imagined. I like to write -- I do it for a living -- and, while I thought I'd enjoy a putting finger to keyboard (?) a few times a week on something I enjoy, sadly, I found that the last thing I wanted to do after eight or 10 hours at the office was open up my laptop. On top of work and marathon training, I've become more involved in volunteering at my church and other organizations in Chicago this summer, further scaling back the amount of free time on my hands.

I considered for a brief period giving up this whole blogging thing; however, I realized how much I enjoy reading other blogs, particularly those written by people I know and especially those I'm not able to see on a regular basis. Via Facebook and blogs, I have a much better handle on where high school, college and other friends are and what they're doing than ever before and, in some weird way, I feel closer to them as a result of the virtual connection. In fact, I wish more of you guys spend time blogging. It's much easier to comment on a post or respond to a Facebook status update than sit down and craft a thoughtful e-mail.

Rest assured that I'll be back with more frequent posts soon! In the meantime, please accept my sincerest apologies!